Well, school decisions started to rear their ugly head back in mid-July.
Would we choose an in-person hybrid model, remote school or homeschool? These decisions kept my mind racing at full speed+ for almost 6 weeks. This left little time in my schedule to write, and even less space in my brain to concentrate.
I found it immensely hard to sleep with the weight of these decisions sitting on my shoulders. In the span of 6 weeks I was sleeping at most 2 or 3 hours a night. During a conversation with a friend I expressed that it felt as if I was carrying around a too heavy suitcase filled with rocks and I just wanted to put it down and walk away. As my eyes filled with tears of frustration she held my hand and listened. Then offered a brilliant suggestion – make a small notebook, draw a suitcase in the cover and write down all the things…. every single thought that I was carrying, every thought that was keeping me awake at night. Then light it on fire and burn it.
The next few weeks were filled with a multitude of zoom calls from the school district, conversations with friends & neighbors, late nights of research into homeschool options, Facebook group posts to read, curriculum to choose. It was an overwhelming amount of information to sort through, file away and absorb. Many nights my husband and I would sit after dinner and pick apart each option. Hybrid would potentially create more exposure to the virus than we wanted – but he NEEDED to have a in person teacher to succeed, especially with navigating ADHD challenges. Remote school would limit virus exposure, but would he learn? Distance learning in the spring wasn’t the best environment. Homeschooling would have the best of both options, but how would we minimize the clashes between him and his teacher (me) when everyone got frustrated? If I had to figure out yet another way to motivate a reluctant learner, I think I would have melted like the witch in the wizard of oz. (I had yet to experience the flexibility of actual homeschool.
These thoughts plagued me relentlessly for weeks, until we were out of time to decide and needed to submit a plan to the school. Our deadline had arrived. We chose our district’s hybrid model as Plan A, with the intention of monitoring how the remote learning days were scheduled and what he could or would learn. Our Plan B is to go full remote if it feels like theres too much exposure to others who can’t or choose not to act safely. And Plan C is to home-school.
Yet….Did we make the right decision?
The burden of it all is heavy. And daunting. And I was so ready to JUST BE DONE.
Should we have chosen remote? Our guiding factor was he would at least be placed with the same teacher he had last year. She knows him and his learning style…this was a consolation for us. Until 2 weeks after our ‘final’ decision, it wasn’t. And we were told that 2nd grade was being consolidated into two classes and his teacher was being moved to the first grade. Well, that kicked everything back into high gear and my sleepless nights resumed.
And then I remembered… Make a suitcase, she said. And burn it. Release the heaviness and just let go. So I did. I made my ‘suitcase’. And I burned it. (And forgot to photograph it) Man, notebook paper makes for a great little flare up in a fire pit.
Wow. What a beautiful release it was, letting go of the heavy burden of carrying that suitcase, and watching the gray ashes float away on the gentle breeze wafting past my fire pit. The decisions and thoughts were still there, but I had somehow taken away their power. I slept well that night after letting go, and was finally able to think clearly.
We headed north to our condo in NH just like any normal summer and tested out homeschooling. It was nice to be ‘normal’ for awhile.
Thankfully this trip is one we could keep in our schedule and have a bit of normalcy for a month or so. Since we had to isolate for a bit first, I decided that we’d test out homeschooling. It was the perfect opportunity – limited tv stations and lots of outdoors. Every day we ‘do school’ until lunch. He works on math, reading and writing every day, this is the base of our days. Each week we add in science, social studies, history, art, music and research; not every day, but definitely multiple times a week. Our materials include worksheets, hands on items, and online programs. As the teacher I decide what items we do each day, my student decides in what order we do it, where we do it, and when during the day.
Today’s reading was a choice of famous people in history, Abe Lincoln was chosen. The online book includes a comprehension quiz, the video watched reinforced the material visually. I added an assignment to draw something learned from the two, and to explain in writing what was drawn. Reading, art, writing – done. Math was accomplished online – learning about data & graphs and answering questions on what was learned, then with a game of wizards battling monsters by casting spells you earn by answering math equations correctly. Yesterday we read about Denmark and Copenhagen, built Denmark’s flag our of Legos, and learned a new vocab word, granules.
There are less battles in homeschooling – he has the choice of what to work on, where to do it, what time of day to work, and sometimes how to present his learning; there is more flexibility for me, I’m not policing his schedule to make sure assignments are completed on someone else’s timeline, I get to pick materials based on what he’s interested in today, (it was Ole Kirk Christensen and Legos yesterday, hence Denmark and Copenhagen) and if the day starts to go sideways I can decide to scrap the plan and throw in a cool science day investigating how baking soda and citric acid interact in a soda bottle, go on a nature walk to observe plants, or bake brownies to work on fractions. The flexibility and choices are vast and refreshing after a spring of feeling trapped and not in control.
How the heck does this relate to oils?!
Ha Ha, it doesn’t really (wink). But its our life. And our life incorporates oils into whatever we do, so in our story it all relates somehow. Each morning we choose a few oils to put in the diffuser. Brain power or genyus is the base of what we diffuse every day. We then add in others depending on what we think will smell good. It’s a bit like homeschooling… start with a solid base and add in the extras. Today we have our Brain power base to help focus, Endoflex to dispel the crankiness that plagued us yesterday, booger-mot (bergamot) because boogers & boys… and pine since we’re in the mountains but its COLD and the windows are closed, and I want to smell the trees.
Soon school will start in earnest, one way or another. We’ll settle into another new normal, in one way, shape or form and soldier on. In what way this will look? Who knows. But I can home-school. And that makes everything else easier, because I have a fall back plan.
How are you approaching this fall? Do you have a fall back plan? Share with us.
